Crossover Fic of DOOM
by Chocolate and Dead Fish
Summary: WARNING: Don't read this if you can't stand pointless wastes of time.  Crossover of Kingdom Hearts, D. Gray-Man, Left 4 Dead, Nabari no ou, Death Note, Harry Potter, Star Ocean 3, random crack, and anything I forgot.  Full summary inside.  CRACK!
1. Chapter 1

**ULTIMATE CROSSOVER CRACKFIC OF DOOM!**

** Crossover of Kingdom Hearts, D. Gray-Man, Left 4 Dead, Nabari no ou, Death Note, Harry Potter, Star Ocean 3, random crack, a few inside jokes, and some teachers and such from my school. All this, plus any other random anime/manga/books/etc that I forgot to mention! This crackfic is the result of me and my anime-obsessed friend having a random conversation during gym. Not surprisingly, I got hit in the head with the ball several times that day...**

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Part I: Invasion of Hogwarts

Sora held his shotgun, ready to fire. "Ready, L?"

"Let's give these wizards what they deserve!" L kicked down the door. "Molotov!"

The students in the Great Hall panicked. Two random people with shotguns just kicked down the door, and now half the students were on fire. Professor Umbrige fainted from the mess. Harry would've laughed at her if he wasn't panicking.

"Muahahahaha! I don't have to know your name to kill you now, L!"

"Light! You are Kira! I always knew it!" L shouted. He was then killed with a grenade launcher before randomly reviving. "Now that that's taken care of, Light, we can invade this school together!"

"Yeah!"

"Pipe bomb!" Sora shouted, then threw one into the middle of the crowd.

"TANK!" Roxas ran by, screaming, while a giant horde of zombies chased him. Five of them were tanks.

"Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort tried to kill Harry Potter. He missed, and hit a tank. It died.

"Nice shot!" Sora then killed him with dual pistols.

"ZOMBIES!" Fayt screamed, blasting everyone within range with a machine gun. The remaining four tanks turned on him.

"TANK!" Roxas shouted again. Light killed one with his grenade launcher.

"SHUT UP! I HEAR A WITCH!" Sora screamed.

"Sora has startled the witch." The narrator announced calmly. The witch killed a tank and then died of spontaneous combustion.

"Two tanks left!" Both spontaneously combusted.

"HI AXEL!" Sora shouted.

"Yo, Sora! Catch you at a bad time?"

"Nah, perfect timing. Done killing Vexen yet?"

"Nope. I could only bring one chakram, though. The other's still launching itself at him repeatedly."

"Whatever. Let's kill some-"

"ZOMBIES!" Fayt shouted, yet again. All the Hogwarts students were dead by now.

And the rest of the day went on like that, until Watari showed up and sniped the last of them from a helicopter. Then everybody went home and acted like nothing happened. Well, unless you count the fact that L arrested Light for being Kira. But that's expected.


	2. Chapter 2

**CROSSOVER FANFIC OF DOOM**

** Now, out of boredom and continuing that earlier conversation, we're sending all these characters to school. This was actually the main point of the fic of doom, but I wanted to attack Hogwarts first.**

Part II: 1st Period

Allen stared blankly at his paper. He had never even gone to elementary school, so how was he expected to eighth-grade level math? He looked around to see what everyone else was doing.

One kid with brown hair - _Light Yagami_ - was already finished, and doodling in a black notebook. Allen jerked around as some kid died of a heart attack.

Another kid - _L? What an odd name..._ - took his paper up to the teacher. They ended up in some argument over the wording of the questions, or something like that. Eventually the teacher decided that "No talking." was a good solution, and sent the kid to his seat. He didn't sit properly, and got in an argument over that. Allen started to ignore them.

Lenalee was filling the blanks with random guesses that made a little sense. She'd been to elementary school, but nothing beyond that, so she didn't know algebra.

Kanda had his hand on Mugen, and was debating whether to stab Lavi, the teacher, or the worksheet.

Lavi was looking over another kid's shoulder, and Allen could hear beeping noises. After a moment of thinking, he remembered the kid's name was Matt.

A blond-haired girl - _no, that's a boy, his name is Mello _- was eating chocolate behind the teacher's back and glaring at the albino - _Near_ - next to him.

"Innocence, level two release: Direct Fire Seal!" Lavi smashed his desk with his hammer, and the worksheet disintegrated.

"Axel, would you go see what that was?" the teacher looked up from her argument with L to ask the assistant teacher.

Axel walked over to Lavi. "How the heck did you do that? I thought I was the one who controlled fire."

"It's called a Fire Seal, it's an attack with my hammer."

"Cool." Axel walked off, got a new worksheet, and came back. "Here's the answer key." Allen looked at it, then quickly scribbled down the answers.

Kanda finally made up his mind. "SHUT UP TEACHER!" was the last thing the poor woman heard before she died. Then Kanda attacked his worksheet and sat back down.

Allen looked up. He could hear music. "Lenalee, I hear the ice cream truck!" They both jumped out the window (never mind that it was the second story) and started chasing the ice cream truck down the street. Nobody thought to ask why the ice cream truck was out in a thunderstorm.

"Aha! Light-kun _is _Kira! I was right!" L pointed a finger at him as another student died of heart attack.

"I'll kill Justin Beiber if you don't arrest me."

"It's a deal."

"BURN BABY BURN! Got it memorized?" Axel shouted as he blew up the teacher's desk. Then the bell rang for the next class.


End file.
